The Fancy Catfish

I just realized that when I drunk dial now I'll be two hours behind you people. Just wanted to say sorry in advance.

O.K.  seriously kids - when will women stop having these rediculous fucking conferences telling women how to be women, "listen to your inner women",  "You have red flags going up all around",  "you know when your body is telling you to stop being so stressed".  OK BITCHES - OBVIOUSLY WOMEN DON'T KNOW THIS SHIT!!!  If we knew this shit, we wouldn't be at these goddamned confereneces, licking each other pussies, making each other feel like the biggest, baddest bitches on campus.  For the love of God, we're just as fucking dumb as the men in this world - it's time to get fucking over it  - you "I wanna be a strong woman who inspired women to find their inner strength" bitches,  grab ahold of your titties and get off your elitist pedastools and realize that we are just as dumb as everybody else in this world.  Just cause we have a damn period and push babies out doesn't make us the end all be all.  I'm sick of the piece of shi...

STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION Mark E. Petersen Council of the 12 Apostles Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so. This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines: A Guide to Self-Control: 1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. 2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. 3. If yo...

I said peace.

Here was the headline on my Netscape News Homepage today: "Surprise! World's Sexiest Vegetarians! The World's Sexiest Vegetarians were voted today and they are none other than Outkast's Andre 3000 and actress Alicia Silverstone. More than 180 celebrities were considered and over 12,000 votes were cast."

"You and your colleagues are invited to participate in a consultative and interactive medical workshop on MUSCLE RELAXANTS." Hmmm. Interactive eh?

guess what? the clock is ticking. is this how you're gonna spend your precious few years? is this it? you don't have much time dammit. wait. don't think about it. the trick is not to think about it. right? because if you don't think about it... then it won't affect you. besides, if you think too much about it, you'll just go crazy. right? RIGHT? what the fuck. think alot? or think a little? ignore it all? or face it with a little plastic sword? live in the present and be concerned only with the present? or live in the present but constantly plan for the future? what if you find yourself dying and end up regretting all the planning? what if you live to be a hundred and you regret that you didn't plan at all? how the fuck am i supposed to spend this time? somebody please hit me with a big wooden stick and knock me unconscious. wake me up or put me to bed.

this is what a key to a two million dollar jet looks like.

this was copied on a piece of cardboard after a viewing event around the camp fire here at the Kirchner Kompound. "What is wrong with your uncle" Ken Kirchner "what is wrong with your brother" Russell Kirchner "what is wrong with my father" Casey Kirchner that is all

this. this, what i'm about to show ya is a sliver of the beauty of this town. the majority of this oklahoma city i call home does not have the faintist of clues but they strut their ideas about like spring toms dressed like horny peacocks at a pidgeon show. you can't get mad at 'em. all you can do is puppy tilt your noggin to the side but not too far as to let the bourbon fall out.... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5432385/

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If you are concerned this gas station in the middle of Mississippi will be different next time you visit, here is a little reasurance.