The Fancy Catfish

vowels cost money

click here for a very proud moment

today, I bought three new condiments and added them to my array of sauces. Like the last straw, these 3 new ones added to the weight of the many condiments already in our refrigerator door and bent the door hinges so that it wouldn't shut. My roommate made me start keeping the ones in glass bottles on the inside shelves. my condiment collection is rivaled only by my body spray and lotion collection.

ok people, especially Blynch, the jukebox of knowledge, I am making a mixed CD of songs where the word Magic is in the title or is at least featured prominently in the lyrics. Who can help me out? You get a star if you can come up with one I haven't thought of yet. GOOD songs, people.

last weekend was my dad's 60th birthday. we spent it at the cabin on lake whitney. it was relaxing, fun, and mildly celebratory. saturday morning we awoke to find a ancient, cute, burry, deaf, loving, smelly, blind, loving, loving, bleeding cyst eyed cocker spaniel at the doorstep. this dog looked like hangover in purple collar, but until roughly two weeks ago was obviously someone's pet. i gave her a bath, food and water, clipped the burrs out, and pinch-plucked most of the fleas. posted a sign at the local mart. inquired with neighbors. left a description with B.A.R.K. (Bosque Animal Rescue Kennel), which is volunteer and only has an answering machine. sunday morning came and we had to go. Todd and i drove 50 miles to the nearest real shelter in waco. i received a phone call this morning from the old lady that runs B.A.R.K. she was toothache sweet and this is how i imagine her. she explained that a kind elderly gentleman had called her about an ancient, cute, burr...

i keep 'steve miller's greatest hits' in my van is so i can make out with strippers. -Red a.k.a. oklahoma blynch

If you guys are done with this place, so am I. NO MAS!!!! If you didn't want to be drunk here any more you should have let me know. Rude.

written as the sun came up Dear Texas, I know we said we wouldn't do this, but I miss you so much sometimes it makes me pee red. But as my pee starts to get more red than Yakoff Smirnoff I wonder if its just you or my friends that I miss. This might sting a little, but I think I'd pick them over you any day of the week. Please stop crying Texas. Its not you. Its me. We couldn't be this good without you though. You're what holds everything together. It tears me apart that we can no longer be together, but you can always count on the fact that the eyes of Blynch will be upon you. Love ya more than Salt Lick, Blynch PS You still rule my bathroom (wink wink) PSS Damn you look good at dawn. That is exactly as it appears on the piece of paper that I wrote it on. Hooray beer.