The Fancy Catfish

I tried for about 2 hours to do this last night, but I couldn't. Don't ask about the blacked out line, it's a personal matter. My Receipt

Thank you Bynch

We should write a musical about us and I want one of the songs to be called:

went to the wilco show with the crazy girls. they were smart and brought 12 concealable bottles of rumplemintz into the venue by shoving them inside their panties. officers were padding down everyboy before entry so it was required. i got pretty hammered on panty shots but BOTH SISTERS got SMASHED and passed out in the gross, event center bathroom together. the tickets were 35 dollars and they passed out on the third song. fucking crazy girls. somebody found the boones piled up on top of each other and had to drive them home. i was left without a ride. i decided to start walking home when a homeless black guy walks up with a gas can and says, "hey man, can you spare some change?". i told him I'd give him some change if he gave me a ride. so he did. he drove me all the way home and during the ride he only asked for seventy five cents. SEVENTY FIVE CENTS? i told him his math didn't add up because he was spending more on gas to drive me home. he said, ...

the first words out of my mought the moringin was.. i am not going to drik or smoke today... we all know wehere theis is going... one mimosa at breadkafast and i am off tho the liquore stoere to find out hoew many varieties of adnre they make. 1:300 pm comes nd wer re playing poker for laps in the thpool. i have alrewady swum about wait swum? good gwasd ray. i 've alreadyt swam about 40 laps this weekend based on lazy card playing but i lost my mid on this one. my roomate, todd, beat my FOUR FOURS with FOUR FIVES on FIVE CARD STUD. i had to swim THIRDTY SEVEN LAPS. for 10 dave ad buster dollars. what kind of loser am i? blynch i've been trying to call you first.... wtf? -ray

the first words out of my mought the moringin was.. i am not going to drik or smoke today... we all know wehere theis is going... one mimosa at breadkafast and i am off tho the liquore stoere to find out hoew many varieties of adnre they make. 1:300 pm comes nd wer re playing poker for laps in the thpool. i have alrewady swum about wait swum? good gwasd ray. i 've alreadyt swam about 40 laps this weekend based on lazy card playing but i lost my mid on this one. my roomate, todd, beat my FOUR FOURS with FOUR FIVES on FIVE CARD STUD. i had to swim THIRDTY SEVEN LAPS. for 10 dave ad buster dollars. what kind of loser am i? blynch i've been trying to call you first.... wtf? -ray

Dude I can't f'ing believe you won't answer your phone. AGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! If you're at the computer go get your phone.

Me and a group of friends were walking back from the Ellis Island Brewery and Casino around 3:30am when I found an index card on the sidewalk with this written on it (this is totally real): Im MARRIED n 43 yr old. Love to fuck young teenage girls. 12yrs to 17 yrs old. Must have all 11 1/2'' in of me the 1st time. I love stretching pussy. Turn young teen sluts (over) into whores. What the hell is that? Really WHAT? It doesn't have his name or phone number on it. It is like some dirty old perv just had to get something off his chest so he wrote it on an index card and left it on the street. "Whew. It sure has been a long day of stretching pussy. Oh I forgot I bought these index cards. I should relax and write myself a little note reminding me of how creepy I am. Well that was relaxing, I think I'll go to that 7-11 by the Ellis Island Casino and Brewery for the new Barely Legal and some moon pies. This index card is really weighing down my pocket I'll just leave i...

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THIS SIS TOO MUCH MAPELE BACON ILLLFINISHT TVBACON IF YOUR FINSINTHE THE TOTHER UR TURN WHAT RE RYUOU SHUTTING SODEOWN I'M SONTTNOT THINGIKING AIR FAN SHUT UP BAR BIE ANY THOUGHTS NQAH BACON IS COMING TO A HWUATLT I LOVE THE NIGHT LIVFFE

im trying to dedsscboer the bo.og to shane lsaser when you blolggg you cannontt edit OBVIOUSETLY DUH shane here. i've never durnk blogged beefoore. fernet branca is the west. i don't regrt anything i did tnite. d6y it;'s fine the way it wis says sshane while eating the first puond . 3.5 of bacon maple qawesomde. sheane grundts after takinf AOAIWP AIO RHr qANOR AIP OD QQrRWE FOOS OL' mwe xLIDDOENI qRWE. this is real. i just typed tatht. wp somebody doewsnot do windows sss i have a view of the house . fuck it just skip to the next entry cua i am busy.. when ever shane sees a good post he feelks like he missed a good paryty fnally he 40$ butte4r, shane here. i bought a forty dollar tub of butter today. wink wink. wink wink wink wink. wink wink ink wink welbow jab. smile. man i'm narcisissitificali dont give a shit i;' m pluggin in barvbie.. can we aedd sahne to the blog good cuz i did. lii lilove you all liek abroteher and a sisteter. coan i com e...

His name is Moe. CLICK HERE

If you were going to make chocolate covered bacon, what kind of chocolate would you use? My chocolate of choice would definitely be white chocolate.

i've got one piiece of adcvice. if ive evr had a piece of advice... itss this... stttaaayyy awwwaayyyyyy from any liquorl that has scorp[ions in the bottle. especiarlly mezcal. oh fucik me. fuckk me.

when you watch this you'll probably be thinking the same thing i did. "this is a joke. this isn't real. no fucking way." i've never seen something that so perfectly blurs the line between a SPOOF and REALITY, ART and CRAFT, INSANITY and COMPLETE MADNESS. why can't there be a music video channel that plays stuff like THIS all the time? http://americawestandasone.com/video.html

tonight i saw another drag queen with a giant hunting knife.

People find a way to suprise me every single day. I'm serious. Anyway I'm a little upset that we didn't go and take the SAT while they still had analogies. That was another good idea we never did.

Norman Fell. He sure did. Always, Stripped to Kill