The Fancy Catfish

they say that starving to death is really a pleasant way to go. as you get closer and closer to your tyra weight, you body releases endorphins and makes you loopy happy. maybe it's meant as a last ditch effort to encourage a taco expedition, maybe it explains why some models talk that way, and maybe it's why i went to the gym today... twice. i've been doing a mile and a half in the mornings, no big whoop. i figure i can at least do that while on the master cleanse. 8pm rolled around and raymond got antsy, so i went back and did another two and half miles. i now feel stupidly alive. like the dog that endlessly chases cars. tongue waggin in the breeze and not a brain cell to show for it. i still want a rib.

i just smoked my last cigarette for a bit. stupid Derek got me all excited about doing a Master Cleanse, but i had one pack left so i finished them. started fasting this morning after he and i went to my noise violation probation deferred adjudication rapin'. i got $84 back from a $204 bond. i extremely dislike my old neighbor that wasn't Derek. whatev, case dismissed. so yeah, smoked while starting a health fast. gotta ease into these things. i don't know what it is about these fasts, but they are mildly addictive. this will be my third in almost four months. when i'm done, i will not have eaten in 24 days out of the last 120. you wouldn't know it from looking at me. i really went to town preparing for the movie. mcdonalds was my best friend and sometimes two packs of cigs turned into three on a good drinking night. time to pay the piper and get back to feeling good about feeling good again. tomorrow's gonna suck. Derek's already on day three s...

my buddy Phil and i paid a visit to Mama's Smoking Aces yesterday afternoon at the less than prompt "its five o'clock somewhere" time of 3:30pm to simply call it a dive bar would grossly misrepresent it's mostly working class non-lesbian lady clientele. the sign on the door greeted us with my favorite misspelling of the year, "No open containers in or out of the bar. If you break this rule, YOU WILL BE BARED!" that sentence gave us quite a chuckle until we opened the door and met head on with the women who could and would carry out that punishment, misspelled or not. favorite quotes: "that high didn't cost you anything" "this is the fifth house i've lived in on the same street. my kids still live in the one i grew up in." "now i'm scared of dark bathrooms, june bugs, AND ladders." "sign up for your pre-paid beer card" "here's some pens for you two to take home" "this juke is old, so...

You know, sometimes it amazes me when I think of all the people in the world, and all the innocent children, and all the wonderful animals, and really... all the LIFE on this crazy planet, that I'd like to kill and eat. LOL. It just amazes me. Man, I love meat.

such a good food. "Happiness is only realized when you have Nacho Cheese Doritos covered in melted cheese and a bowl of queso."

such a fantastic movie. "happiness is only real when it's shared"

i like to think that he was calling his office from Fred Segal because he found a hoodie that i would look great in (and i don't even like hoodies). tobey.mp3 in my real reality, our paths rarely crossed on set and we never officially met. very thoughtful though. i wonder what would happen if i called back and asked what kind of ringtone Tobey would want? yeah, i'll get him like a spiderman ringtone or something cool like that.