The Fancy Catfish

if you rushed out and saw Fahrenheit 9/11 and have an opinion...FUCK OFF i do not want to hear from you unless your gawd damn lawn is mowed (mine sorta is). charity begins in the home and most of the people (pro/con/ignorant) can't even take care of their own damn selves much less have an opinion that i care about. that being said, if you are my friend, don't talk to me about this movie, don't ask my opinion, just "DON'T" in general. if you can look outside at your own mess or lack thereof, let's talk. vote for a mayor or county commissioner or clerk or school board first, cuz i ain't ridin' your train. i did not sit down next to you, talky. fuck the fuckity fuck off.

Moving sucks donkey dick. So today, moving in the rain, sucked phat donkey dick. That is not phat in a good rap way, but in a bad animal molestation way. It really does, and I have to do it twice this month. Feel pity bitches. Man I got a little blog crazy* there for a minute.

Unsober Derek is Ol' Drippy. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm still laughing out loud about this...Bitches.

click me

i haven't blogged since i got back from flipside i don't think i am going to either.......The Simpsons are on, i gotta go!

Has anyone seen or know when we might see the pictures that were taken with the white screen at flipside?

ok, we were fucking shithammered, yes. and yes derek sprayed people with a hose. and yes i looked up and saw ian moore drinking jack in my office...things were on that intervention/"i can't tell what i'm making up in my head" level...yes, we should be grounded or separated or sat in a corner... but a wolf? come the fuck on. a fucking wolf strolled into the studio at 5 in the morning and made his self at home. this is not one of derek's photoshop miracles. it's a wolf. don't you have them? Texas has skeeters, l.a. has anna nicole, and oklahoma has a minor wolf infestation. as m.k. would say, "where's the spray for that?" in his defense, the disposition of said wolf was so nice that i put him in my house so he could rest and be an angel. a girl promised to take him to the vet on monday. if you think this photo is fake, then derek did one hell of a job CGI'ing wolf diarrhea all over my house. the broken window was a nice touch a...

i was wathcing discovery channel whel in the treadmill*. Shark show, awesome. Sharks spit out peple usually. They are weird pirahna cows. conclusion. when they spit us out, i bet it's just like when you take a sip of iced tea and think its coca cola. 'what the fuck?' this is not seal. surfboards and with leg sauce tastes like bleajeaio. * (shutup)

i'll be damned if it didn't just rain on me. i'll being drunk inside.

We thought she was gone.....we thought she had lost her stinky little life to the fire Sunday night... Now, we suspect that she may have survived and is "out there somewhere" We had bonded....we had depthful if not regretable experiences...she means the world to us....and I bartered perfectly good booze to get her back. Then sometime Sunday, she mysteriously vanished.....if she indeed escaped the fire, survived and is still in the land of the living, we would love to have her back. We of the Space Tards are willing to negotiate for her return....leads, annonymous or otherwise, are highly desired.... HEIGHT: aprox 16" WEIGHT: aprox 14oz dry...as much as 3lbs soaked in beer SCENT: frikking awful The Search for Tradge Lamb is on..... the rest is up to you.... -kevissimo Do we still have her/it?

you are indeed the oklahoma Ego's without the rock bands. the color red is your friend but that fill-in bartender is NOT. if you expect me to love and embrace you, that bitch gotta go. while pleasantly demeanored, her bartending skills are on par with stingy flight attendant. why doesn't she just use a jigger, i would get more. sincereliest, ray (i'm really sending this to them)

Does anyone believe this is a Lady Bug jerking off a Colby with a mop. Well....that's exactly what it is.

would you believe this was once a leprechaun? would you believe that this was once a leprechaun wearing a Beatle's wig singing the first 5 seconds of "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac nonstop for thirty minutes?

for the site....

i beat up an umbrella tonight. i kicked the shit out of that thing. is that bad luck? -derek here's some random keyboard smashings: efgjlqxbh qeopgvhq43hÔ⁄ 9635447H4$#Q@ 72WRadaerth$3qMKLws RTYJHSTHK48.

Thank you so much for the good times and loss of memory. I really need to give you extra thanks for the strange rash and VERY sore throat. LYLAS, Blynch

i will pitch in to register can'tdrawpudding.com that must happen. i want to see who can draw pudding the best.

www.cantdrawpudding.com www.cantdrawpudding.net www.cantdrawpudding.org are all available!